Yul Wins!

YUL:
WINNER!


Sole Survivor
Who do YOU think is going to win Survivor: Cook Islands?

Adam
Becky
Ozzy
Sundra
Yul


  • Yul 63%
  • Ozzy 24%
  • Parvati 7%
  • Adam 5%
  • No one else received votes

The tribe has spoken, and there is one less castaway on the island. Who went home this week?

OZZY:
(Final Three)


BECKY:
(Final Three)


SUNDRA:
On The Jury


ADAM:
On The Jury


PARVATI:
On The Jury


JONATHAN:
On The Jury


CANDICE:
On The Jury


NATHAN:
On The Jury


JENNY:
On The Jury


REBECCA:
On The Jury


BRAD:
On The Jury


JESSICA:



CRISTINA:



CAO BOI:



STEPHANNIE:
How come every season we get at least one person that just decides to give up. I mean, the odds are so far against you that you will even MAKE the show, that if you are lucky enough to get picked, you should give it all that you have every day to try and win that prize. Last week Stephannie offered herself up to go, and for whatever reason her tribe didn't take her up on it. And then this week, all she had to do was stay quiet and go with the flow of the tribe, and she wouldn't have been touched. But instead she starts hinting she'd like to go home and get some mashed potatoes? Huh? Girl, you've got your whole life for mashed potatoes. When are you going to be in the running for a million dollars again? Oh, whatever... go home, enjoy your taters and gravy. I hope they're worth it!


JP:
You may have been surprised, J.P., that you were sent home. But that whole strategy of reclining back by the fire and telling everyone else what to do, and making sure you got a daily afternoon nap... was never going to get you far in this game. And you weren't even that strong in the challenges, and actually pointed that out to you tribe during Tribal Council. Yeah, I'd have to say there are serveral things you might choose to do a little differently if you had it all to do over again. But you left with class, and without a harsh word... and that's always nice to see.

CECILIA:
Well Cecilia, I'm not convinced there was a lot you could have done to stick around. It was just one of those things, someone had to go... and there was more fighting done on behalf of Becky than there was for you. If you know you were in such danger, I imagine you would have campaigned a little harder... but I'm not sure it would have changed things. Enjoy the rest of your time relaxing in the South Pacific!

BILLY:
Billy, Billy, Billy. What exactly is going on in that little head of yours? I have to say, I never saw it coming. You certainly have the distinguished honor of delivering one of the most memorable little speeches in Tribal Council history. I'm all for wearing your heart on your sleeve, but you might want to just doublecheck the fabrication factor of your love affair before you announce it to the world. Your tribemates first thought you were lazy, then they were convinced that you were crazy. Hopefully the heavy metal world will welcome you back with open arms, because I think you've spooked just about everyone else out.

SEKOU:
Our first castaway voted off the island. Sorry Sekou, your leadership skills were viewed as lacking by your tribemates. You still went out with a smile though, with no hard feelings. And you have an amazing career and life back at home! This was just a little diversion.

JEFF:
Jeff, you've got to get yourself a new hat, buddy. That one that you've been wearing to all of the challenges is looking a bit ratty. Have Julie Whats-cha-ma-Berry go get one for you. People are starting to whisper that you're trying to hide some hair loss. Hey, snaps on the inmmunity challenge! It was much fun to watch 8 grown adults try and balance on a little bittie platform for the chance to continue on in your little social experiment. Let's really blow this thing out and see what people will really do for the chance to win a million dollars. Let's have some ethically questionable challenges in the last half... like, first tribe to draw blood from the other wins immunity. First tribe to eat rat poison wins immunity. Come on... it's season 13! Time to push the envelope a bit. Everyone has forgiven you for the whole racial segregation thing, they'll forgive you for putting contestants in mortal danger for the sake of ratings. I mean... eventually, anyway.



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Sunday, December 17, 2006

We're down to the final five, People!

So I'm watching the first immunity challenge, and I can't help but root for Ozzy. He's just so damn good at the whole survivor thing, I WANT him to be the big winner. Jeff is droning on in the background about how this is the toughest puzzle ever in the history of Survivor. (Really? I mean, not that I've got some written record of all the challenges in the past... but from my comfy couch at home it looks just like another underfed, underbathed group of survivors scrambling around for puzzle pieces and then jigsawing them into place.) Jeff is also getting kind of hyper, telling us all how close the competition is... Yul, Adam, Ozzy puzzling it out, neck-and-neck. And I'm getting sucked in! I'm thinking, uh oh... Ozzy might lose this, and then those bastards are going to vote him home! Whatever, I obviously shouldn't have worried, because suddenly Ozzy's little flag is raising (that's not a euphemism for something else) and he's got immunity once again. Whew!

But this guy deserves to win, am I right? He has made no bones about it, and has just gone out there and been physically dominant throughout this entire experience. As much as he may be a part of the "close" Aitu tribe, unlike the rest of his tribemates he's still around because of his own performance not because of the safety he found in an alliance.

Case in point... immunity challenge number two. Standing on a itty bitty platform in the surf for as long as possible. Who wins? Our buddy Ozzy... hooray! Hell, he can climb a coconut tree while standing upright... standing on a postcard-sized platform on a clear day isn't much of a stretch.

All Right! Ozzy's in it for the million. Now I can relax. But what's this? They're changing it up a little this time, and THREE survivors get to go to the final tribal? Well, well... we'll have to see how that spins things.

Okay... Immunity challenge number one, Ozzy wins, which means Adam gets the boot. Oh, sadness. There goes the last of the whities. It's a non-caucasian winner! All those folks that were up in arms at the beginning of the season should be settled down now. See ya Adam... good luck with that "I sell copy machines to churches" thing.

But now, after challenge number two... it's the four amigos and they have to get rid of one of their own for the first time. Now, I know I'm going to sound all "peace and love", but I kind of like the fact they all decided to just manuver it towards a tie, and let the girls battle it out to earn their spot. That was UNTIL the actual tiebreaker challenge. Are you kidding me???? You're on Survivor, you've been out in the wilderness for over a month... and you girls can't make a fire???? Oh man, the sisterhood is really pissed at you two. You've made us girls look helpless all over again. So, how pitiful is it to watch these two muck around with flint for an HOUR an not be able to start a single fire. And if that wasn't bad enough, they are then given matches... and they still can't do it? Seriously Jeff, you should have just stopped them both, and sent them both over to the jury. Because at that moment, there was no chance that either of those girls was going to be awarded a million dollars. But finally, painfully... Becky builds a sad little flame that burns through the rope and (weak cheering and applause) our third person has been determined. See ya Sundra.

Meanwhile, the rest of the jury is rolling their eyes wondering, "How is it that they were still in the game, and we were voted out???"

So we have our final three: Yul (not a suprise), Ozzy (yah Ozzy!), and Becky (Becky... really?). And now it's up to the jury. Now, not that I really enjoyed the original snakes and rats speech from Season 1... but was it just me, or was this the most polite final tribal ever? Everyone kind of ignored Becky because hell, she could barely start fire even with matches. But even the questions to Yul and Ozzy were pretty tame and threaded with compliments. Adam tried to stir stuff up, but just like all season... Adam couldn't quite deliver. So everyone told them how lovely they were, then asked them easy questions like "What's your favorite color?" Everyone seems satisfied with the little interviews... and it was time to vote!

Time Warp... now we're in Hollywood again. Votes are read. Ozzy gets four, Becky gets none (surprise) and Yul gets five... and wins!

Okay... I'm a little disappointed that Ozzy didn't win. But Yul is not a bad alternate. He was my fav early-on, and it's only because Ozzy just got more and more impressive that he swayed my vote.

Congrats Yul! Ozzy... your phone will be ringing off the hook tomorrow morning with opportunities galore, I'm sure.

Until next time, Survivor fans!

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