What can happen when you insist on continuously wearing a black bandana on your head in the blazing-hot South Pacific. Okay, so let’s just jump right in to the most bizarre event of the evening: Billy and Candice’s love affair. It is so secret, SO sudden… that even Candice wasn’t aware of it. Billy… you crazy fool! (And I really mean that.) You probably had saving votes from Cecilia and Cristina, until you revealed your spooky, phantom-romance-inventing, stalker tendencies. My jaw quite literally dropped, and some kind of strangled laugh came out of it, when Billy started his little “love at first sight” speech at Tribal Council. After getting attacked by J.P. for his complete lack of effort around camp, Billy came up with just about the craziest defense for why he didn’t make himself useful around camp. You see, somewhere along the line, Billy stopped playing this game for a million dollars, and in his own words, his prize became “that he fell in love in this game.” So I guess helping around camp wasn’t going to help him secure that prize, so why bother… was that his point? Oh, never mind; let’s just enjoy the craziness! When Billy starts professing his love, there is a mixed reaction: Billy: “I’m playing the game, that’s what I came here to do. My prize isn’t even the million dollars, my prize was that I… that I fell in love in this game.” Cecilia and Cristina simultaneously choke on suppressed laughter. A look of pure confusion flickers across J.P’s face. Jeff’s eyes get big with shock. Billy continues: “Love at first sight. Her name is Candice.” Jeff just about falls off his chair (or log, or stump, or whatever.) Cecilia and Cristina can stifle it no more, and they both burst out laughing. Just to be sure he heard it right, Jeff clarifies, “Candice… from Roro tribe?” as his eyes just about pop out of his head. “Yeah,” Billy confirms. “After the last challenge, we sort of mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to one another, so that was my prize. My prize was her.” Jeff must cover his mouth to try and hide the ridiculous smile that he can’t keep from forming on his face. J.P. shakes his head slightly, as if to say, “I don’t know what the hell to make of it either.” Jeff diplomatically says, “I have never heard anything that surprised me more than what you just said.” And then artfully tiptoes deeper into the issue by asking, “I want to be respectful because I don’t know what happened, but what would she base feeling the same way you feel, on?” That’s right, Jeff. Tread cautiously. Don’t say anything to make the crazy, delusional man angry. Billy’s heartfelt reply: “I think it’s just love at first sight. A rapport thing. Jeff, a little dumbfounded asks, “You’re absolutely sincere right now.” “I’m dead serious,” Billy answers. This is the moment that the rest of the tribe gets uncomfortable. I think they are all clearly thinking, this guy’s not playing with a full deck. Truly, none of them would want to be around when Billy eventually finds out that Adam has been snuggling with “his girl”, and there are machetes lying about. Jeff gently probes the rest of the tribe for their perspective on the matter, but wisely none of them outright declare that Billy is clearly sun-baked-crazy, and instead carefully state that they didn’t necessarily notice any signs of romance… but that doesn’t mean that there might not actually be something there. Kind of the same logic you use with a sleepwalker… you don’t want to suddenly startle them out of their fog, because you just don’t know what might happen. Gratefully, it is time to vote. And in what is certainly the least surprising result of the season, the tribe unanimously decides that maybe this isn’t the best place for Billy, and he is sent home. I’m sure the right place for Billy is somewhere with soft colors, a reclining couch, and a soft-spoken clinical psychiatrist that can get to the bottom of Billy’s fantasy romantic attachments. Luckily for us, his first stop will actually be on “The Early Show” tomorrow morning, and we can see what he has to say for himself and his entertaining crazy talk at tonight’s Tribal Council.