Day 8 Raro Tribe Nate is out fishing and spears an octopus. This only serves in really pissing the octopus off, and it grabs the spear and tries to pull Nate down to the depths with him. Although the plucky Survivor film crew tries to make it appear life or death, Nate is actually only in three feet of water. Therefore, Nate simply stands up and hollers to the beach for some help. Brad and J.P., who just happened to be spending some alone time on the beach together, hear Nate and go splashing after him Baywatch-style. They pull the octopus above the surface of the water, and then it reaches out and grabs for Brad, and coils itself around him with a strong suction hold. Brad screeches like a girl, and then seems to get used to it… enjoy it even, and simply giggles. (Note to self: check in with Brad at the reunion show and see if he has acquired a pet octopus.) The three men finally trudge to shore with the defeated octopus in tow. Nate presents the octopus to the tribe, reminiscent of Will Smith dragging the alien to the Airforce Base in Independence Day. Parvati stares hungrily at the octopus, and then hungrily at Nate. “I bet that’s a lot of meat… that’s good.” And then with a sultry smile she adds, “I bet you could eat that whole thing yourself.” Parvati has now made octopus some kind of metaphor for sex… and clearly she wants a piece of Nate’s octopus. Immunity Challenge We helicopter-swoop in to see the challenge course. It looks vaguely familiar. Actually, it looks frickin’ identical to a challenge from two or three seasons ago, where the tribes all have to be linked together carrying weighted backpacks, and have to chase each other around the course through knee-deep water in an attempt to catch the other team. Teammates can bail out at any time, but must give their weighted backpacks to another player. The first team to catch up to and tackle a member from the other team wins. And oh, by the way, there is another super secret note that will be revealed after the challenge. So… clip, clip, clip… all tribemates are hooked together and wearing aforementioned backpacks. And…they’re off! Now, I don’t know if these teams discussed strategy at all before the challenge started, but clearly the Aitu tribe needed to discuss some. Because about a half a second into the challenge, suddenly all of the Aitu girls start bailing out. First Cecilia, then in quick succession, Sundra, Candice, and Becky. What are they thinking? They’re handing their packs off to the likes of old, overweight and out-of-shape Jonathan, and old, frail and out-of-shape Cao Boi. This so that they can go sit over on a bench and watch their team lose miserably? (Okay, time out. Not that I’m an Olympic athlete or anything, but we’re talking 15 pounds! This is the size of a large bag of groceries… that’s all. I mean, I have an 18-month-old that weighs 30 pounds. Do you think I’m going to hand him off to someone else after 15.7 seconds? No! I’m carrying that baby until I’m near death, no matter what terrain we’re going through! Do none of these ladies have kids? Oh, all right… do none of these ladies like kids? Can you not use a little imagination and convince yourself that putting down this load is simply not an option? Oh whatever… on with the narrative.) So plucky Flicka is the only ovary-bearing member still hanging in on the Aitu tribe, while Raro is still in full force. Then Raro loses Stephannie. All the other girls hang in until Cristina calls it quits, followed shortly by Jenny. (Girls, pleeez! Have you no backbone? Have you no fortitude?) At that point, Flicka bails, leaving the guys to go it alone for Aitu. Then Parvati leaves the Raro chain gang. Rebecca is the only girl at this point participating in the challenge. (You go, girl!) Jonathan starts breaking down at this point. His smug pre-season speech about it making more sense for him to be a fatty that can stand to lose a few pounds, as opposed to being fit and in-shape, starts to haunt him about now. Cao Boi for once isn’t talking or laughing, and looks like he’s about to pass out. It is only at this point, when Raro needs to speed up to finish closing the gap, that Rebecca finally hands over her pack. The strong young boys in blue quickly catch up to the failing Jonathan, Cao Boi, and company. As smart as he is, at this point Yul suggests that they stop running, and turn around and fight. Huh? I mean, even if they knock down a member of Raro, it still doesn’t matter because they’ve already been lapped. I’ll assume that Yul was just trying to be a nice guy, and bring the suffering to an end for Cao Boi and Jonathan… because otherwise, his logic just doesn’t stick. Anyway, Aitu stops, and exactly one second later they tackle Cao Boi, and the challenge is over. The new Raro wins immunity. Now it is time to read the super secret note. The anticipation is immense! What will it be? The winning team also gets a pony??? Oh no, it’s just the expected announcement that the winning team must pick a member from the losing team to go to Exile Island, and that exiled person will miss Tribal Council and will not be eligible to be voted out. Just like last season. Big whoop. Can we possibly steal any more from previous seasons tonight? So, the winning Raro tribe huddles together, and decides to send Candice to Exile Island. Candice looks a bit stunned, as does the rest of her tribe, but she trudges off to catch the Exile Island Express as the rest of the teams head back to camp. Exile Island They then give us a quick shot of Candice wading up to Exile Island. They don’t bother to waste our time with her reviewing the next clue in the handy-dandy notebook, since the idol has already been found by Yul. In fact, if Candice looks closely enough, she’ll probably notice that the token camera guy that they left with her doesn’t actually ever turn the camera on or remove his lens cap when he’s “shooting footage”. Yep, missy… that’s a sure giveaway that there’s no story on this little island anymore. Aitu Tribe Back at the camp, Yul is lamenting the fact that Candice is on Exile Island, and that has a huge impact on the whole mutual trusting and respecting thing that has been set up with him, Becky, Candice, and Jonathan. Before, they needed only one other person (flakey Flicka) to join their merry band, and they would have the numbers. Now, they are a party of three stuck out on a limb. Cao Boi and Ozzy start chatting, and agree that neither one of them need to go home. So instead, Cao Boi thinks they should target Becky because she is weak. It appears that even though Becky is Asian, Cao Boi doesn’t love her. Ozzy quickly agrees, and they start rounding up votes from the rest of the tribe. Ozzy talks to Cecilia, Sundra, and Flicka as they walk down the beach, and tells them of their plan. Together, with Cao Boi, this group makes five and has the majority… and can vote out whomever they please. As long as they stick together! (But really, do they ever actually stick together by the time they actually arrive at Tribal? No. They do not.) You know there is going to be waffling, because Flicka is conflicted again… and is having a hard time maintaining her blank and confused face. Instead, she looks pained and stressed. Once this little band gets back to the beach, Flicka calls out to Jonathan. They walk over to chat, none too inconspicuously, and Flicka blurts out what is going on. “Just so you know… Becky’s going,” she says, while Jonathan looks stunned. Then she continues, “Just so you know… I’m not going to go against that.” Jonathan looks double-stunned. Jonathan immediately starts trying to wrangle her, asking her if she would consider voting for somebody else. But Flicka is not easily swayed. She wants Becky to go, because “she doesn’t have a good vibe about her.” Jonathan spins off and starts pulling out what little hair he has left. He talks with Yul, “Houston, we have a problem!” and they decide to each try and tackle one person and see if they can swing their vote away from Becky, and towards Cecilia instead. (No reason given for why they picked Cecilia. The next person alphabetically? I don’t know.) So Yul goes to talk to Cao Boi, and Jonathan goes back to try and iron-death-grip-hold Flicka into switching. Jonathan sits down on a stump and tries to reason with Flicka. He discusses strategy and numbers, while she discusses trust and personal relationships. He talks about playing the game for the long haul, she avoids eye contact and brushes imaginary bugs from her shoulder. He realizes they are talking apples and oranges, she sits quietly and eats nuts and berries. Yul talks to Cao Boi. Cao Boi wants to get rid of Becky because she’s a princess, and is the weak link for the team. Yul, of course, disputes this. “Becky, very strong. Cecilia, weak and no help. Putooey, putooy on Cecilia.” Yul also mentions numbers, and playing for the long haul. Finally, for once, Cao Boi is tired of hearing someone else talk, and shakes hands and makes a deal with Yul just to get him to be quiet and go away. Pay attention Alanis, this is irony. We then hear Cao Boi telling us that he doesn’t like the scheming of men. He talks to Flicka, they both agree they can’t trust Jonathan, and that his is manipulative. But, (there’s always a but) Cao Boi agrees that it is a game about numbers, and that they will get picked off if they don’t go with what the big trusting and respecting alliance wants them to do. Flicka looks scared. Flicka doesn’t want to be picked off. But Flicka doesn’t want to play a dirty game either. This is where Cao Boi washes them clean of any responsibility… by magically announcing that it is just Yul and Jonathan that are playing the dirty game, and they are just being innocently swept away with it and can not be blamed. Flicka’s blank and confused face is back. Tribal Council It’s that time, boys and girls. Gather around the campfire and choose one of your own to throw into the crocodile pit. Jeff is there waiting. His spiffy safari hat is not. Jeff: Jonathan, before you were all split by race, now you’re not. Do you care? Jonathan: I couldn’t care less. Jeff: Sundra, you’re the only African American here. Does that make you feel A: Powerful? or B: Vulnerable, isolated, repressed, and discriminated against, just like the minority that you are? Sundra: I’ll take A, Jeff, for five-hundred dollars. Jeff: Yul, you’re clearly smarter than everyone else, and we have already made the check out in your name. What will you do to entertain yourself for the remaining 31 days? Yul: I’m going to gather fish to feed all of the starving children in South Africa. Right after I figure out how to hook up an Internet connection using nothing but coconut husks and fishing wire. Jeff: Jonathan, how stupid are the people that came to this island just to make friends? Jonathan: They are really, really stupid, Jeff. They could have stayed home and made friends. I personally have no friends. Therefore I have nothing to distract me from making a mad dash for the million dollars. Jeff: Flicka, you are clearly outmatched and will be sent home soon. What do you have to say for yourself? Flicka: Huh? Jeff: Ozzy, have you figured out yet that people are going to screw you over and not vote the way they promised you that they would? Ozzy: Jeff, if they betray me, then I’ll go all psycho crazy on them! I’ll be even crazier than my hair! I’ll build an elephant pit out in the wilderness and chase them into it. Then I’ll throw coconuts at them night and day. They better not betray me! They… better… not! Jeff: Well then, it’s time to vote! There is lovely Survivor music, our intrepid castaways trudge up and write names on slips of paper, and beg forgiveness from the person they are voting to throw into the crocodile pit (except for Ozzy, who dislikes Becky and looks forward to feeding her to the crocodiles). Yul: Cecilia Cecilia: Becky Sundra: Becky Becky: Cecilia Ozzy: Becky Cao Boi: Production staff teases us, and doesn’t show us that he’s written down Cecilia’s name… but the camera pauses long and hard on Cecilia’s face. Jonathan: Cecilia Flicka: See: Cao Boi. Vote tallying time: Three for Cecilia, three for Becky… tension builds... and the next person to be voted off Survior is… CECILIA!!! Steam comes out of Ozzy’s ears. Join us next week, when Ozzy goes ape-shit on his lying, cheating, betraying tribe!